I wish you could see these return address stickers. My name and address are typed in a stately font, and to the left, a smiling, bald cartoon character called Ziggy smiles and waves. I am not a big fan of Ziggy, though, like him, I do like rainbows and dogs and sweet things. I don’t know when I have read a Ziggy cartoon when I wasn’t disappointed that I would never get those poorly spent thirty seconds of my life back.
Part of my dilemma is that I like to think that I don’t waste much. When Chase sends me an invitation to have a credit cart with them, I take the free envelope enclosed and quietly thank them. I’d like to use these Ziggy address labels, except that this smiling mound of a character would constantly wave a reminder of all the time I had wasted on him. Maybe that’s not so bad: I wouldn’t have to write my return address all those time. Maybe Ziggy is finally paying me back.
Another part of my dilemma is that these return address stickers were sent to me with a free envelope, one I am expected to use to send a gift to a leukemia society, or maybe veterans. What kind of a jerk would I be if I used these stickers and did not reciprocate the gift to this benevolent society? Meanwhile, my manipulation detector is going nuts: I don’t really want to encourage these people in their rascalism.
So these stickers stay here with my correspondence stuff, unused. I can’t believe this paralyzes me so. This is probably why my life is so easy: God knows what I can handle.