learning stuff

I'm having a hard time getting into the Bible right now. So, go figure, God's going to teach me about Himself through folks around me. The Great Teacher came to visit me yesterday-at the roller skating rink of all places. I take care of an 8-year old girl with behavioral disorders who had the worst day she's had in my seven months of working with her. She was lying on the floor of the skating rink whining for someone to help her (she can actually skate-she was just testing me). When i told her that it was time to leave-she grabbed a child's ankle and pulled him down. The fear in his eyes just hurt the heart. Her behavior was definitely spiraling down. Why, God, is this my burden now? Before I knew it, she grabs the hair on the top of my scalp and pulls for two minutes. I think it's still bruised up there. In comes God's grace, through Michelle and Desiree. I'll probably never see these women again. They pried her hands from my hair and helped me restrain her while I called for help on Desiree's cell phone. They sat there with me for 10 minutes (or longer) restraining her until help came. They, unfortunately, also suffered minor injuries from the incident. To watch this child go through this broke my heart. This is where humility was shining her face. There's really nothing I could do to snap her out of it. I began to suffer with her. Sobbing with her. It hurt (in many ways).I'm learning to understand gentleness. God has been teaching me this through pain and drawn blood. I can't respond to her the way I want to-by knocking her block off. I've got to respond with loving, gentle hands. She's so sensitive to that. Anyway, God's still on my case despite my lack of interest in the Bible. Maybe I'm learning more. Maybe He's taking me the long way back to the Bible. Maybe He just wants to show me His face. I'll certainly keep on looking.