It takes only a short time after one enters into any serious relationship, be that with friends, dating relationships, or spouses that a reflection of one’s self begins to surface.
This statement is not profound by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I have had the sentiment expressed to me numerous times and I know I have read it stated in some form in at least half a dozen books. (there's more)
Because of this familiarity, it seems idiotic to be surprised when I realize I am clearly seeing the worst of myself in a relationship with another person – most commonly my wife. Nevertheless, like an epiphany at an AA meeting, I say, “ Hi, my name is Todd and I have a problem with _________!” I usually declare this (to myself because I would never admit it out loud) only after I have yelled, rebelled, cussed, and screamed at the other person for showing me … ME!
I never cease to be amazed by my own stupidity most of the time, but I am glad that laughter and a caring person on the other end of the relationship doesn’t hold the same judgments against me that I hold against myself. The most frustrating part of this relationship process (if that’s what you call it) is, I inevitably feel like a hamster in a running mill because I keep making the same mistakes and having the same epiphanies.